The night I went home with a random photog.

This would be the last year Fun Fun Fun Fest existed. The lineup was stacked, WuTang Clan, Lauryn Hill, Future Islands were among the big names headlining. A few of the smaller bands like King Khan & The BBQ show were playing pre-parties in downtown Austin the night before the festival at a venue named Sidewinder. Feeling extra saucy that day, I decided to go to the pre-party show.  I start the night off by getting dressed in a cheetah print skirt, applying my Courtney Love red lips, and pulling over my Landing Strip shirt (which is a local strip club here ). Last but not least I hot glued my broken combat boots back together. This call this look is what I call dumpster chic.

On the bus ride to Sidewinder alcohol in hand.

No good pre-party is complete without a couple of pre-drinks. Since I got out of work late, I was racing against the clock getting to the concert. To save some time I decided to make myself a generous cranberry and vodka masked in a Brisk raspberry tea bottle.  This sneaky method always allowed me to sip liquor on the bus without anyone giving me any shit. In classic me fashion I drank way too much in a short amount of time. I wasn’t planning on it really but I was distracted just staring out of the window.

Even smog clouds and littered streets made me awe. As soon as I get off the bus I felt a little swoosh inside my head as I hurried crossed the street while pulling my very short skirt back down.  The alcohol was kicking in sooner than expected.

I made it to Sidewinder just as King Khan started to play. I drunkenly jumped around and sang along as my sobriety deteriorated more and more. The amount of ‘Wooooo!!” and “YEAHHH!!”that came out of my mouth was embarrassing but oh well. My outlandish behavior even got me a song dedicated from King Khan who had been staring at me the entire set like this girl is drunk as hell. He grabs the mic and says, ” this one is to the Aztec princess in the front, keep going honey” and boy did I. At some point during the show if my hazy memory serves me correctly my top came off. After King Khan& The BBQ’s set I was set on meeting King Khan which I did for the briefest moment. They were gracious enough to take a picture with me as well.


King Khan and I

After I stumbled away from him I started talking to the person who was directly next to me. I still remember his name, Micheal.  He was in his 40’s all dressed in black with a camera bag. A few minutes into chatting I told him I was leaving to go drink somewhere else. However just as I was walking away he invites me back to his apartment for drinks. My judgement is fucked at this point so I agreed to go.

The Uber ride to his place was so damn hot that my top came off again. Maybe I’m just an exhibitionist when I’m drunk? We made a stop at 711 to get Micheal cigarettes. I was told to stay in the car but of course, I didn’t. Topless, I strolled into the store and heated myself up a bean burrito. Everyone was staring but I didn’t care I was hungry ,sue me. It’s also worth mentioning that in Austin it’s legal for women to be topless anywhere at anytime.

We finally made it to Micheal’s apartment.It was an average bachelor pad lit up by red tikki lights;books and trinkets everywhere. Micheal’s record collection was insanely good. We decided to go take a dip in his hot tub to kick off the after party. Partying with strangers is not new to me but I quickly noticed that he had another agenda in mind, a romantic one. Not wanting to risk him trying to pull sexual advances,I knew I had to get out of there. From experience, I knew at that point I only had an hour tops before the lights went off and I blacked out.I picked up my phone and Facetimed (wasn’t able to text out of drunkness) my guy friend Shelby who sends an Uber for me to his place.

While Micheal was inside the house I left. Partially because I was unable to figure how to put my clothes on and partially because I was in a hurry to leave, I hopped into the Uber in my underwear and soaked wet. I started apologizing to the driver for my behavior but he seemed unwavered by my antics.”Honey, it’s ok, let’s just get you where you need to be ” he assured me.How sweet and unjudgemental I thought, that or he doesn’t mind a 20 min drive with a topless girl in his back seat. I woke up the next morning on my friend Shelby’s couch, I lived to see another day.

Fall 2015


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